Brain Dead

It's so hard to tell you the truth.
I want to tell you now.
I cant.
If only i could move.
I cant.
All you see, if anything at all, are my eyes.
The rest of me is dead.
Not my eyes.
To talk to you, i blink.
To talk to them, i think.
My thoughts can control the outcome of my life.
My eyes can control the outcome of my life with you.
I miss you.
I love you.
Now see, the situation is, i cant move.
If you want to know something from me, ask.
If i dont tell you, plan my funeral.

Im sorry, but im brain dead.

Near, Far

im done with life, im ready for it to come crashing down

to see the city around me burning

the people crying on the streets at the loss of their homes.

im done with drama, all the preasure

i feel im falling asleep as an innocent child, and will wake different

wake as an adult who's life is falling apart, burning, crashing, dying. the end is far, i want it to be far, far away, and at the same time, all so close..

Those, These, That, This, The

Those eyes.

Those lips.

These features.

These memories.

That hair.

That face.

This time.

This one.

The love.

The passion.

the reason i live

The Reason You're Reading This..

i think i have fallen completely head over heels for you. if only i could tell you how i feel. i dont because i am deathly afraid of the possibility of rejection. what if you are to tell me you dont love me back? what if you are to crush all my hopes and dreams that ive built up over time?

i gawk upon the perfection of your skin, the sweet scent of your musk. i feel as if i should be able to curl up to the shape of your body as we watch a movie in the dark. i feel as if our lips match perfectly together. i feel as if i am rightfully able to feel the shape of your neck. that perfect neck that just sits there, longing for me to graze my hand along its nape in attempt to comfort you when you're down. why did this have to happen to me? what did i ever do to deserve a person like you in my life? you are my angel, my love, my crush, and the reason i force myself to awake in the mornings. i could be sleeping in and rejoicing in my dreams, but instead, i jerk up and wait till i can see your face today. everytime i see your face, thousands of memories pour into my mind. the memories of the times when we were best friends. the memories of when we were together and nothing else could arrest our happiness. those were the days i long to return. to refill my life with joy. with comfort. but when those memories bring pain. it reminds me of the reason we arent together. the reason i wish both existed and didnt. i guess we are so close to one another, nothing more can happen. i wish it wasnt this way, but things happen for a reason i guess. thats what ive been told but i would like to believe otherwise. i'd like to believe in the fact that we can be together. we can be together and happy. be together and in love. i want that. until the day that you realize what is true from what isnt, i just wait here in the distance and hope, just hope and dream that you'll come around...

Just Another One of Those Dreams

i walk this long road to the length of the bay. the clouds are beneath me as i stare up into the precious blue sky and begin to wonder. my bare feet feel hot against the rough concrete of the golden gate bridge and it vanishes. the floor i was once on is gone. now i walk the sky hundreds of feet up in the air on a single thin rope. my torn jeans and ratty teeshirt are of no more. instead, covering me up is a pair of black pants and a tuxedo jacket. i am filled with fear, but the audience only sees a bright red smile flashing across my face. my feet nervously make their way along the rope, when i lose balance and begin to fall, instead of hitting the golden sand of the circus floor, i spash into the depth of the twilight's water. the moon faintly leaves it's reflection when the sun luminates the sky with bright colors of red and orange. i can feel the rubbery texture of the fish grazing my legs as i stay afloat. i dive down and enter myself in a race against the fish of colors. the coral is slowly becoming visible in the day light and i attempt to avoid it. that redemption is failed when my bare leg horridly is brushed up against it and bleeds. the pain is unbearable. i quickly search for the surface and release a scream so loud, that is the last thing i would ever be able to speak again. I quickly spazz up into a seated position on my bed out of breath. i try to relax myself and realize im drenched in sweat from head to toe. i fall back into my pillow and breathe slowly. i am finally able to bring my heart back down to earth and live. the alarms clock sounds resembling my day must begin and long on and long until the night approaches again..